O·ver·com·mit - allocate more (resources) to a purpose than can be provided. Oblige (oneself or others) to do more than one is capable of, as to repay a loan one cannot afford.
Is your plate a little too full?
Do you lack the time to get what you need to do?
Are you constantly stressed out with your never-ending commitments?
If you feel like you are living in a race that often overwhelms you, then you might be overcommitting.
It can be a confidence booster to be the one people call on for help and support. It is an honor to be trusted, however, boundaries are important, and setting time aside for self-care is more important than letting others down.
Let’s take a look at how to break the cycle of overcommitting.
Why do we overcommit, and how can we stop doing it?
- Fear of disappointment
- Fear of missing out
- Your priorities aren’t clear
- You like to help people
Overcommitting can lead to:
- Low-quality results
- Sleep problems
Stop overcommitting by:
- Learn to say no. Even to things that are good.
- Think, don’t just react. It may take some discipline on your part but learn to always respond with “I will get back to you.” There is no need to have a knee-jerk reaction when questioned.
- Estimate the costs — time, money, emotion, energy. Identify and analyze if this is something you should be giving your time and energy to before committing.
- Don’t commit to anything last-minute. If you are asked to go somewhere or do something at the last minute just say no. It’s okay to respond with, “I would like to; however, I just need a little bit more notice next time.”
- If there is something you want to do but do not have the time for, then consider eliminating something else, rearranging dates.
- Be truthful. Let people know that you are booked.
Over-commitment seems like a good idea at the moment, but it can tend to create more problems later. Resist trying to be everything for everyone. If you tend to be a “fixer” recognize those things that may be triggering you to take action. Remember that if you don’t do it, then someone else will, and that is OK!
Once you stop overcommitting, you will start to feel more in control. It’s all right for it to feel uncomfortable as you start to retrain your ways. You will reap the benefits of setting boundaries, and so will those close to you.
Don’t fill someone else’s cup by emptying yours.
If you need a few tips on how to set and keep healthy boundaries, click here.